My personal happy list


There’s been so much awful stuff happening in the mere five-day span since Trump was sworn into office. I won’t recount here. I’d say you should look it up yourself but the exercise would make you feel lower than a snake’s butt* so I don’t recommend it.

Still, there’s some super cool, even heartwarming, things around us. The above picture, for instance, one of the top things that popped up in Google Images when i searched “cool stuff.” Here, I will spend 10 straight minutes thinking of things that make me happy. Setting a timer and everything. I won’t edit or think too much over it, so this could be highly entertaining:

  • My wife
  • Coffee
  • My dogs
  • My cats
  • My cockatiel
  • Converse high-tops
  • New underwear
  • The Good Place
  • The way the guy who narrates Forensic Files leans on the word “blood”
  • My Favorite Murder
  • Cheese
  • Homemade butter
  • GIFs of people falling
  • Craft beer
  • Flaming Hot Cheetos
  • Dad jokes
  • The way a baby’s head smells
  • When I eavesdrop on the awesome, hilarious conversations the Chicago sanitation guys have when they’re hauling the neighbor’s trash away
  • Lake Michigan
  • Pokemon
  • Karaoke
  • Third Coast Comics
  • Filet O’Fish sandwiches
  • Really hot hot sauce
  • Pickles
  • Grandmas who sing louder than anyone in church, badly
  • Keith Haring
  • Those rubber balls that say SUPER PINKY on them
  • Toddlers who wave back when you wave at them
  • Petting other people’s puppies
  • Buying StreetWise
  • Movie theater popcorn with way too much butter
  • Root beer
  • Viola Davis
  • Those diner mugs with concave sides that feel really good when you cup them in your hands to warm your fingers up
  • Bob Ross
  • Knowing all the words to “Shoop”
  • Knowing all the words (mostly) to “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”
  • Luvvie Ajayi’s writing
  • Texting my dad
  • The fake sign language my sister and I do to the Bangles’ “Eternal Flame”
  • Chance the Rapper
  • Little girls carrying around baby dolls with no clothes on
  • Parents that talk to their kids
  • Libraries
  • The smell coming out of dryer vents when a neighbor’s doing laundry
  • Star Wars
  • Anna Kendrick
  • People who can’t help laughing at the word “balls” and making endless ball jokes after hearing/saying it
  • Reruns of Law & Order
  • Lenny Briscoe’s hair
  • Brownies that are really, gooey (especially the middle pieces)
  • Bakers that don’t skimp on frosting
  • Malort face
  • Tall cans of cheap beer
  • Soft pretzels
  • Really good headphones
  • White people singing Beyonce
  • Bronies
  • People passionate about never putting ketchup on a hot dog
  • Hot dogs
  • Gyros when the pita bread is grilled and warm
  • Tomatoes from a friend’s garden
  • When the neighbor down the street practices opera singing
  • Black Lives Matter signs in neighbors’ windows.

Time’s up. That was fun.

* I’m not sure if snakes have butts. Ask a herpetologist.




Writer, drinker, arbiter of sarcasm.

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