Hold up

They don’t love you like I love you.

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My personal happy list

bears

There’s been so much awful stuff happening in the mere five-day span since Trump was sworn into office. I won’t recount here. I’d say you should look it up yourself but the exercise would make you feel lower than a snake’s butt* so I don’t recommend it.

Still, there’s some super cool, even heartwarming, things around us. The above picture, for instance, one of the top things that popped up in Google Images when i searched “cool stuff.” Here, I will spend 10 straight minutes thinking of things that make me happy. Setting a timer and everything. I won’t edit or think too much over it, so this could be highly entertaining:

  • My wife
  • Coffee
  • My dogs
  • My cats
  • My cockatiel
  • Converse high-tops
  • New underwear
  • The Good Place
  • The way the guy who narrates Forensic Files leans on the word “blood”
  • My Favorite Murder
  • Cheese
  • Homemade butter
  • GIFs of people falling
  • Craft beer
  • Flaming Hot Cheetos
  • Dad jokes
  • The way a baby’s head smells
  • When I eavesdrop on the awesome, hilarious conversations the Chicago sanitation guys have when they’re hauling the neighbor’s trash away
  • Lake Michigan
  • Pokemon
  • Karaoke
  • Third Coast Comics
  • Filet O’Fish sandwiches
  • Really hot hot sauce
  • Pickles
  • Grandmas who sing louder than anyone in church, badly
  • Keith Haring
  • Those rubber balls that say SUPER PINKY on them
  • Toddlers who wave back when you wave at them
  • Petting other people’s puppies
  • Buying StreetWise
  • Movie theater popcorn with way too much butter
  • Root beer
  • Viola Davis
  • Those diner mugs with concave sides that feel really good when you cup them in your hands to warm your fingers up
  • Bob Ross
  • Knowing all the words to “Shoop”
  • Knowing all the words (mostly) to “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”
  • Luvvie Ajayi’s writing
  • Texting my dad
  • The fake sign language my sister and I do to the Bangles’ “Eternal Flame”
  • Chance the Rapper
  • Little girls carrying around baby dolls with no clothes on
  • Parents that talk to their kids
  • Libraries
  • The smell coming out of dryer vents when a neighbor’s doing laundry
  • Star Wars
  • Anna Kendrick
  • People who can’t help laughing at the word “balls” and making endless ball jokes after hearing/saying it
  • Reruns of Law & Order
  • Lenny Briscoe’s hair
  • Brownies that are really, gooey (especially the middle pieces)
  • Bakers that don’t skimp on frosting
  • Malort face
  • Tall cans of cheap beer
  • Soft pretzels
  • Really good headphones
  • White people singing Beyonce
  • Bronies
  • People passionate about never putting ketchup on a hot dog
  • Hot dogs
  • Gyros when the pita bread is grilled and warm
  • Tomatoes from a friend’s garden
  • When the neighbor down the street practices opera singing
  • Black Lives Matter signs in neighbors’ windows.

Time’s up. That was fun.

* I’m not sure if snakes have butts. Ask a herpetologist.

 

Kittens make everything better

Many friends have remarked they’re having a hard time with the endless onslaught of bad political news, awful policy moves by the administration, and having to fight people on social media that. Just. Don’t. Get. It. The awesome and brilliant Lauren V. said, “Looks like I will never post anything fun again.” Then, it hit me (actually, the voices in my head told me): why can’t things be fun AND revolutionary. Voila–the birth of RadiKittens(tm), memes combining political messages/slogans/sentiments, with adorable baby felines. Here’s a sample:

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cutekitten04meme

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Feel free to share (link, please), or create your own and share them with me. Woo, #RadiKittens !

Music makes the people come together

jemaine

I’ve spent a lot of time writing and thinking and worrying and FREAKING THE HELL OUT about politics lately. I think it’s understandable, since Trump has spent zero time working to bring the world as we know it crashing down around us. Just thinking about the list–a woman’s right to choose, education, the environment, public parks, LGBT rights, our membership in the United Nations, our relationship with longtime allies like Germany, etc.–makes my tummy feel like it’s full of angry scorpions.

The day’s only about half over and I’ve already done a few things–donated, joined the Planned Parenthood Defender brigade, penciled in an anti-PP counterprotest, actual paying work, and a few random household tasks. That’s something to celebrate–it calls for a dance break. Here are 10 songs I highly enjoy that make me want to get up, move my feet and shake my shapely butt.

PRO TIP: The above give of Jemaine Clement syncs up to whatever song you’re playing. Try it with the below clips.

Garbage – “Cherry Lips”

Adele vs. Britney – “Rolling in the Deep End”

Janelle Monae – “Tightrope”

Gossip – “Heavy Cross”

Monie Love = “It’s a Shame (My Sister)”

The Runaways – “Cherry Bomb”

Heart – “Barracuda”

Luscious Jackson – Nervous Breakthrough

Bjork – Big Time Sensuality

Robyn – “Konichiwa, Bitches”

Quiet start to the rebellion

Today’s the first day of Trump’s takeover. I couldn’t watch the charade of his inauguration, so instead, I decided to spend the day avoiding social media (as much as possible–I peeked a couple times out of habit and morbid curiosity) and engaging in small acts of rebellion and self-care (which, as I’d mentioned a few days ago, is rebellious in and of itself). Underneath this awesome ad about rebelwomen is the story of my day in photos…

rebels

Fueling up

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At the start of a day, coffee is far more a necessity in terms of bringing about this human’s functionality than food. Breakfast came later.

Dressing the part

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This is the closest thing I have to a “fuck the establishment” shirt. Still, I wore it today and got a few awesome comments. Two women on Glenwood said, “Love your shirt,” and a nice neighbor named Bobby said he would be marching for me tomorrow since I can’t go.

Breakfast, finally

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It’s been a while since I grabbed a cheddar herb biscuit from Smack Dab, and it hit the spot. Organic and tasty and still warm.

Peace in the dirt

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I don’t know what a peace feather, but considering the first word is “peace,” it’s probably something positive. I’ll look that up later.

Stocking up

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In the 1200 block of W. Farwell, there’s a tiny library (a small case where neighbors take or leave books in a book swap) that the maker also uses to stock a pantry for the needy/homeless people in the neighborhood. It was empty, so I schlepped to Morse Fresh Market and stocked up on staples, and feminine hygiene goods.

Reading material

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I didn’t leave a book, but considering I left something, I felt like the universe would be all right with me taking one, especially since it matched my shirt.

An offering

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I couldn’t think of what offering to put on my altura as I prayed for our country and its citizens’ well-being in the coming weeks, so I just lit some incense. It’s nice–it makes the apartment smell like a fireplace.

More sustenance

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Here’s something else we should rebel against: the DiGiorno people insisting upon putting cheddar cheese on their pizzas. People, unless it’s a novelty pizza like a taco or cheeseburger pizza, just stop.

Drinking and reading

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Rogers Park Social, which is 277 steps from my front door, opened early today so people could escape inaugural nonsense. Wasn’t that nice of them?

Traveling through

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Riding the train, like a hobo in days of yore. Wait, is it offensive to say ‘hobo’? Maybe I should use more proper terminology like ‘transit-utilizing American.’

Looking at art

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The saying goes “art should comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable.” This and other works by Ethan Hutchinson, hanging in Rev. Billy’s Chop Shop, makes me disturbingly uncomfortable. In a good way.

Making art

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I had zero inspiration when I got out a canvas and my paint. It’s also been so long since I painted that all the colors I wanted to use were dried as old turds. This isn’t my best, but it’s something.

Tomorrow, the rebellion steps up. See you then.

Couldn’t-a said it better myself

cheetos

I have zero respect for Donald Trump. He’s inherited everything good he’s ever had, and he’s managed to either lose or completely bork up about 90% of it, leaving him to run a con game spanning state and international boundaries to get some of it back.

Until he launched his absolute farce of a campaign, I could choose between laughing and ignoring his sorry ass. His escapades annoyed me, but they didn’t affect me. I could change the channel, turn the page, or scroll past whatever nonsense he was spouting. Not my problem.

Not anymore. His foolery has gone from silly stunts to bullshit that could, quite literally, ruin the entire planet. I don’t plan on being part of the Get-Along Gang like all the sore-winner Trump supporters are cajoling Democrats me to be. If I had the slightest bit of faith that he won’t completely ruin the whole country if given even a millimeter of slack, I might ease up on him, but he’s demonstrated that he has no interest in easing up on me, Blacks, Latinos, the disabled, the poor or anyone else in the country who isn’t a rich white man.

The good news is, the bastard has a week spot–unlike Obama, Trump has zero sense of humor about himself. Say one word against him, especially if it’s ridiculing one of his many soft spots, and he completely loses his shit, and he feels the need to defend himself against the change, almost always by insulting the person or people lobbing the goop at him. If he’s tweeting SNL IS UNFUNNY AND ALEC BALDWIN IS A LOSER, he can’t be making horrible policy decisions, threatening to hit our allies with huge tariffs, or trying to start World War III with Ghina.

Luvvie Ajayi gets it. The New York Times bestselling author of the amazingly brilliant and pants-wettingly hilarious I’m Judging You wrote this post about how to artfully and effectively stick it to Trump at every turn, and it is smarter and funnier than anything I could write about the subject, so here–you read this and laugh at it, and I’m gonna go have a snack or something.